Raising Kids (Not the Goat Kind)

The most frightening adventure I have ever undertaken has been the raising of my 4 children. Though child rearing takes place in public there is also a lot of secrecy about it. A lot of it takes place in the home and out of the public eye. The end result, however, is there for the world to see. There is a lot of pressure not to screw it up.

I was reading about one study about kids transitioning to adulthood that said that kids now days aren't used to using their hands for much other than typing, texting, and driving a car. I was one of those kids who loved doing things with my hands. I was pretty good mechanically because my parents let me tear stuff apart. I tore apart countless lawnmowers and motorcycles and even got a few of them put back together again. I got a watch for my birthday when I was about 13. Two weeks later I had it torn apart ostensibly to clean it. It never ran again. I also loved working with wood and later used to follow a mission maintenance guy around working on cars, generators, and water pumps.

My oldest son worked a little bit on a lawnmower once and I guided my second son through the rebuilding of a snow blower. All my kids have played musical instruments to some degree too. But I wish I would have had them work with their hands more.

Another study pointed out the importance of a lot of multi-generational contact in helping kids transition to adulthood. Being a small church has helped that. We don't have a youth worship band, the kids fit right in with the regular worship band. We don't have very many youth work projects, the youth join in with the rest of the adults with work and mission projects. They also are very involved with church services. They are up front a lot and are used to speaking in front of the church. I feel that this is one area where they have a lot of experience and I don't regret for a minute that they haven't had the large church youth group experience. I think they are way over rated.

One study talked about a disconnect between what kids transitioning to adulthood believe to be right and their actual behavior. This is especially true when it comes to sex. It also showed that there is an increasing number of reports from kids, especially girls, of sexual experiences that have now left them devastated. I have been very straightforward about talking sex with my kids. They jokingly tell me that when they have kids and the time for "the talk" comes, they are going to just bring them to me. I wouldn't steal the privilege from them. We have also been very clear that there is a good reason that the Bible calls for sex to remain within the bounds of marriage and that it isn't just a rule for rules sake. We have also tried to emphasize that dating takes a pretty heavy amount of maturity to handle and our kids have been cautious about dating. Our oldest is in a strong marriage now and I pray that the others transition well into adulthood in the area of sex and relationships.

Some people tell us we are doing a good job. Others think we are too strict. And yet others say we aren't strict enough. Probably all of it is true. I do know this. If you are serious about parenting (I assume there are a lot of people who don't really give it much thought.) it will stretch you as a person and it will stretch you in your faith. I am hesitant to give anyone advice about raising kids. I agree with the guy who said he would know what a kind of a job he did raising his kids when he saw how his grand kids turned out. Parenting has been everything from frightening to exhilarating, and everything in between. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.