Resting In Him

We practice Lectio Divina on Wednesday evenings and the last two weeks have been emotionally hard for me. Both times it ended well though.

This week I was meditating on the passage where Jesus is explaining why he uses parables in Matthew 13. He refers to the prophet Isaiah: 'You will listen carefully yet will never understand,you will look closely yet will never comprehend. For the heart of this people has become dull; they are hard of hearing, and they have shut their eyes, so that they would not see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.' I was struck by the fear that this could easily be me. I may think I'm listening carefully and yet not understand. Could my eyes be closed without me knowing it?

This consumed my prayer time which I ended with the fervent hope that this was not me or at least I would be made aware of it if it was. I can't say that there was any real sense of peace after the prayer though perhaps things were a bit brighter.

Then came my favorite part which is resting in Him. I don't usually read the instructions for the other steps outlined in the program because they are the same every week. But I always read the last. It starts, "Finally we rest in the presence of the One who has used His word as a means of inviting us to accept His transforming embrace." It literally sent chills down my spine and it was almost as if I could feel His embrace. Somehow that seemed to soothe the fears and doubts I had earlier.