Most at Home

I've blogged on and off for several years and I have been involved in a few forums over that time too. I also follow several blogs and occasionally post a comment or two. In all of this I've noticed a rather fluttering feeling in the old stomach whenever it is time to push the "publish," "submit," "post" or whatever button is required to send my dribbled notes out into the world.

I suppose the feeling comes from my insecurities about being accepted by others in the world. I admit that often I couldn't care less but sometimes I really do. Every now and then I'll experience pangs of regret just seconds after I've pushed the button thinking that I've just hurt someone or will be hurt by someone else. This is why I will never be a prolific contributor.

I find the place where I feel most at home on the web rather odd. It is a forum based on a sports team and other than being a fan of a poor excuse of a professional football team I doubt I have much in common with any one else on the board. But it is there that I feel most at home and where I post most often. My opinions have been crucified there too, on occasion, but it happens to everyone and so it doesn't seem to sting as much.

We have mysteriously been able to create a sense of belonging on that board. We argue like siblings but for some reason we care about each other too. Out of the murk of profanity laced sports banter there often emerges sincere requests for prayer as a fellow poster undergoes cancer treatment, another's relative recovers from a car accident, and yet another deals with the death of a parent. People are missed when they stop posting because we are friends even though most of us have never met in person and probably never will.

I feel at home there because I feel like I belong. My fellow posters may disagree with my opinions but they treat me with kindness and respect at the end of the day. I always know they will welcome me back tomorrow. I wish most of the Christian forums I've been on were like that. I've been on a few good ones but I try to stay away from most of them. Most non-Christian forums can be pretty rough too. I'm glad I've found a home.