Failing to Really Comprehend

As I've read many of the first hand accounts of people who survived the tsunami I find myself heart broken and yet I feel at a loss to really comprehend what they are going through. How incredibly tragic to be at the beach with your family, enjoying time together, and have your life turned upside down in a second. How incredibly hard it must be for those who have lost young children. I just can't imagine what it must be like to see the sheer joy of those kids running around on the beach one minute and then find them dead the next. I also can't imagine what it must be like to see some "survivors" still hanging on to floating objects way out in the water with no way to rescue them, knowing that they probably won't make it. I was shocked to see news footage of a group of people clinging to the side of a building when suddenly three or four of them were sweeped away by the current. It was so horrifying I don't think the news commentators really comprehended what was happening. It is so sad. I don't know how to respond.

I have friends who have gone through incredible tragedies. I didn't know how to respond then either. I think the best thing is to simply be there with them, give them hugs and silently help with things that must be done. It never seems like enough but I think it beats making a fool out of yourself and trying to fix things for them.

One of the most moving experiences I have had was when I was in Africa and a young man drowned in the river in our town. I did a lot of spearfishing so people from the community asked me if I could try to find the body in the river. I can't say that I was very comfortable with that but felt it was the least I could do. I found the body after about 20 minutes of diving and brought it to the surface. There were about 200 people on the river bank who started wailing as is typical in that culture. A boy in a dugout canoe paddled beside me and let me and let me hang on as I slowly made my way to the river bank with the body. Several men from the family came down to the water and took the body from me and carried him up the bank into town. One of them turned to me and with incredible grief in his eyes simply patted me on the back and said thank you. It was an incredible jesture on his part but I could never shake the feeling of how unecessary I thought it was. I felt bad that he felt the need to say it, like I was somehow taking something from him that I didn't need. Like I was receiving something from him when I should be giving him so much more.

Unfortunately the feeling of not knowing what to say or do causes many people to avoid friends and neighbors who are going through tragedies. We would rather pretend it is not really happening. Actually it is times like these that bring understanding to "bear each others burdens."