Perhaps one of the things kids never really appreciate about their parents are the pets they were allowed to keep. I thought nothing of the dogs, baboons, antelope, chameleon, monkeys, rabbits, gerbils and probably a few other critters I brought home over the years growing up. I now realize why my dad always seemed to have a pained look on his face when I brought home something new.

We currently are providing food and shelter for a dog, parakeet and fish. I must confess that the fish are mine. (One of these days I'm going to have fish that live longer than 6 months.) We've done a pretty good job of weeding out passing urges when the kids suggest they've just got to have a ________. My daughter wants a cat but we have convinced her that they she needs to be older before she is ready for that responsibility. But we are now facing the onslaught of a 9 year old who wants a hamster. I am living in fear because he is determined. I'm afraid we are weakening.

In recent days he has begun to show an understanding of warfare tactics that would have left Genghis Khan impressed. His teacher needed to have someone take care of the class' pet rat over Spring break and he saw his opportunity. He has mounted a diversionary attack on our flank by suggesting that he should be the one to take the rat. In my estimation he is attempting to lure us into complacency. He'll bring home the rat, take great care of it, show us how responsible he is and allow us to reach a level of comfort living with a rodent, if that's possible. Then, when our defenses are down he will return to a full assault with his request for a hamster. After living for a week with a rat how could we resist a cute little hamster. Simply ingenious!!

Having seen through his scheme I countered with the "over my dead body" defense. Shrewd as he is he countered by going to his mother. It wasn't long before I started hearing comments from her like "it's only a week" and "he'll learn how hard it is to take care of a rodent and forget about the hamster."

When I first heard these remarks I drew back in shock that he had penetrated so far in this flank attack. Getting his mother on his side was a major coup. However, I remembered the cockatiel that another son brought home for Christmas break one year. I had had just about enough of the beast scattering its food all over the floor and was glad that it would be returning to the classroom. That's when the big snow storm hit that closed school for another two weeks and left us with the bird.

But alas, I have given in. Today we are also providing shelter for a rat. I know it looks like I caved but I am actually deploying a counter attack. I'm luring him in. He thinks I'm weakening. He has lowered the level of forcefulness with which he has been pursuing his hamster. When I finally tell him no my victory will be decisive and he will learn that he is no match for dear old dad. At least that's what I've been telling myself.