It Stays With You

In the May/June 2008 issue of Books & Culture there is an article by David Graham, entitled Heal Thyself, that begins with a quote from C.S. Lewis. "Humanity does not pass through phases as a train passes through stations: being alive, it has the privilege of always moving yet never leaving anything behind. Whatever we have been, in some sort we still are." I've been thinking how true this is when it comes to dealing with pain.

I seem to remember another Lewis quote that was something about our lives being like the rings of a tree. (I could be way off on the source of this.) We are constantly adding more rings but the rings we already have are still there. I remember studying tree rings in school. You could easily tell when something traumatic happened to the tree because the rings would be different. Sometimes they would be really small reflecting little growth, caused, perhaps, by a drought. Sometimes they would be very dark suggesting some other serious trauma. No matter the cause the evidence was obvious.

I think that is a helpful way to think of pain. When something painful happens to us it leaves a mark. We grow new rings but the mark is still there to remind us of what happened. The more rings we grow the more the pain lessens. New growth has a way of insulating us to some degree. We may even get to a point where we look pretty good on the outside. But deep inside the mark is always there. It has become a part of us and will never go completely away. It is who we are.