Merchandising Jesus

I know that many have written on this topic and if I remember right someone even wrote a song about it. I don't necessarily think there is anything wrong with it in general. (Maybe I do.) But today I made a visit to our local Christian Mega-mart Book Store and left with a bad feeling about it.

First off, I must say that the staff there were extremely helpful and kind. I even asked for a book that I could only remember one word from the title and they found it. But that was as far as the good feelings went.

The first section I ran into was for computer software. I hate Christian software because I can get better stuff online for free. It just seems like there just out to make a quick buck on a poorly done interface. I didn't stay long.

A few shelves over I ran into an interesting end cap. The sign on the top said "Give the Gift of Love." The display consisted of three vertical rows of books. The two outer rows featured Hansi books which made some sense. But the center row (presumably the main attraction) was completely filled with the book "Condi." Now did I miss something here? Is a book about the person credited with inventing pre-emptive strike policy supposed to generate feelings of love?

I swiveled to my right and ran into a rack of "Birthday Scripture" which I searched through to find what Scripture was associated with my birthday. It was something about pride so I quickly moved on. No need to get a guilt complex because of my birthday, now is there.

The next time I looked up I was staring at an entire section of Joyce Meyer books. Apparently she can cure any type of psychological problem you may have but I wasn't interested. I had my fill of books so I headed off to the merchandise section.

Testamints? Please. I didn't even bother to read any thing that might have been written on them. I was afraid they might have some pithy little proclamation like "We're to blessed to be depressed" which, at that point, wasn't true. I thought I better go look at the art.

Whatever happened to the masters? Has Rembrandt been labeled satanic? Of course if you like Thomas Kincaid (which I don't) you're in luck. You can even buy a Kincaid tea set. I suppose I am being a little too hard on the rest of the art but it all looked to commercial for me. I want to know that the artist died dirt poor. That way I know that there was a lot of emotion that went into the painting. Hopefully the emotion was pain. Someone once said that pain brings out the best in an artist whether it is a painting or a song or a poem. I think I agree. If not you paint about light.

By this time I was at the coffee shop but decided to head back the other way. The ability of a barista to micro foam more than 8 ounces of milk is suspect anywhere, even at Starbucks and the like. (Tip: For this reason order a short cappuccino at Starbucks. Even though it is not on the menu they should make it for you.) This kid looked like he might be able to manage only 4 ounces and since I didn't feel like drinking warm milk I passed. I know I was being completely unfair to him but by now I was in no mood to take chances.

On the way back to the front I couldn't help but notice how patriotic everything was. I had to be impressed with the artist that captured an American flag with the Stature of Liberty in the back ground. Some of the book titles had me wondering if I had misread something in my Bible. Who were God's chosen people again? I can just imagine what it will look like in another 3 or 4 months.

I met back up with my wife who had found a children's book on a clearance table. I had stopped there too but didn't see anything I liked even though there were some good deals. I think that has to be one of the hardest things for a writer. Walk into a book store 6 months after your book is published and see them trying to dump your books for 90% off. That's got to be rough. I've heard that the main difference between a best seller and a book that goes nowhere is the marketing. If that's true that means there are probably a lot of great writers out there who are pretty discouraged. I don't think I'll ever write a book since Randy is the only guy who ever promised to read my book if I wrote one.

Have you ever felt like taking a shower after leaving a store? I did today. But I need to cut them some slack though. I think I just went at the wrong time. I was not in the right frame of mind. I wonder how many times people come to my church like that. They probably write about all the things they hate about my church.